He has money for a lawyer
***This post was originally published in 05/2022 as part of my previous blog. I'm sharing it here as I restart my journey, to give you insight into where it all began. I’ll be sharing a new post from my archives every other week as I bring this blog back to life.***
finding a lawyer
So now that I had his money, I was tasked with finding a “good lawyer.” What kind of BS is that? As if I had nothing better to do, now I had to research—something I hate! When I was in school, I only put up with research because I wanted those degrees. But now, here I was with another chore on my to-do list.
I was feeling everything all at once. I was angry because I had to deal with this situation again. Sad because, well, I’m human. Relieved that he was in custody. Disappointed in him. Frustrated because this was not an easy task.
If you’re reading this and recognizing emotions you didn’t even know you had, welcome! This blog will also be educational. A lot of people struggle to identify their feelings. Hopefully, this will help some of you dig into your own emotions—especially my Mexican peeps, because, well, I know.
doing research
Now, back to the lawyer search. Who was I supposed to ask? Google? And what the hell was I even looking for? Were prices listed online? Did I need to schedule appointments in person or virtually? My mind was bombarded with questions.
Luckily, I received a pile of mail from attorneys offering their services. It felt weird, but it gave me options. By this point, my son’s withdrawal symptoms had subsided, and our conversations improved. His thought process was, let’s just say, a little clearer.
He gave me all the information I needed to answer the attorneys’ questions. Then it was a matter of getting quotes and going back and forth with him about who he wanted to hire. By the way, I learned a new word during this process: retain. It’s lawyer-speak for “hire” or “contract.” You’ll also hear about something called a retainer agreement, which is what you sign to officially secure their services. So now you know.
being the middle person
The lawyer situation unfolded about three weeks into my son’s detention. At this point, it might sound like things were flowing naturally—but trust me, it wasn’t as easy as it sounds.
I was still the middle person, juggling communication between the lawyer and my son. Every call from my son was a chance to review details, answer his questions, and relay information. These back-and-forth calls happened multiple times until he made a decision.
And let’s not forget: life doesn’t pause. I was still on mom duty for my other kids, wife duty for my husband, and trying to squeeze in “me time.” Fortunately, I had my growth group of super-moms to vent to. They prayed for me, and honestly, that support kept me sane.
If that wasn’t enough, this was around the time we were asked to return to work in person after the pandemic. The transition was tough, especially with my other two kids still doing remote learning. So, yeah, I had a lot on my plate, but somehow, I kept it together.
one thing off my list
Once the attorney was “retained,” I was able to arrange payment since I now had access to my son’s funds. Let me be clear: I wouldn’t have paid for an attorney for him. But by the grace of God, everything worked out in his favor.
Within a week, the attorney visited him to conduct the initial interview, and I thought my job as the middle person was over. Nope. My son kept calling—to relay messages to the lawyer, to check in, to vent his frustrations, and to complain about the attorney.
If you know me, you know I hate complainers. My philosophy? If you can do something about it, do it. If not, deal with it and move on. But given his situation, I chose patience. I just listened. This went on for months because the pandemic delayed court proceedings.
on to the next one
Finally, I was able to check “find a lawyer” off my growing to-do list. But that was just one hurdle. Next up: court dates, the drama of visits (or lack thereof), retrieving his belongings, selling his car, becoming a parent, and navigating life in the middle of all this chaos.
If you’ve ever heard the phrase, “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle,” then you’d know I’m a Superwoman. And yes, I pat myself on the back for it.
Until next time, my peeps. Let me know if you want more details about any of this. Sending you all love and light. ;) #countyjail #jailstories #prisonpov #findingalawyer